


Sorry, I'm Allergic

by LycanCoffee



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Ultimate Talents (Dangan Ronpa), Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), F/F, Illnesses, It's like hanahaki but sillier, Magic, Mutual Pining, Swearing, author is edgy for no reason, dumbassery, no beta we die
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2020-10-05 23:35:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20497217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LycanCoffee/pseuds/LycanCoffee
Summary: "... this," himiko said, staring the flower down, "is some magic shit."-Himiko loves magic, but all she can do are tricks, and even though her friends her impressed, she struggles with real spells.And now she's cursed, which is great, personally.She's been sneezing constantly, and each time it produces a cloud of feathers, confetti, petals, or anything else imaginable.And it doesn't have anything to do with her best friend Tenko, regardless of what stupid websites say.





	1. Something's happening

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! I was gonna write a hanahaki au for Tenko/Himiko but I ended up with something much, much sillier. Hanahaki is basically always bloody, angsty, and full of drama but like.  
What if... Instead. I did this.  
I don't even know if it's good? Or funny? Or anything??? But let's see ig!  
Also some sdr2 and potentially dr1 characters will show up because it's important for the plot, ok, but they'll be adults.
> 
> Haha I'm scared validate me
> 
> *Edit*   
Keeping the old note for posterity  
Thank you for everyone who helped me write this by supporting me. Thank you if you are reading this right now, months or even years since it has been finished.   
If you are returning to this fic you might notice I changed the chapter titles! That's because leaving them plain made it hard for me to navigate, so hopefully this will make the experience easier on y'all as well. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this story I wrote.

In the last few minutes of class, Himiko blinked her eyes open. She turned her head wearily to each side, trying to find what made her wake up.

She couldn't help it if she fell asleep during class. Her sixth and final period was literature, and her teacher kept the room dark for some horrible, unknown reason. This time, she had fallen asleep barely ten minutes in, and was only woken up when the room had swelled with the noise of twenty-three teenagers buzzing to leave. 

She checked her phone. 

It was 3:25 pm, minutes from when school is let out. She'd missed the whole class. 

"Himiko!" A cheery, gung-ho voice piped up from Himiko's left.

Tenko was hard to look at directly, like the sun. She was just too… bright. Himiko had to squint through Tenko's aura when she looked at her.

"Hn," Himiko replied.

"Would you like to see my notes?" Tenko offered her open notebook. The page had messy but legible words scribbled across it, with the important parts underlined at least six times. Poorly drawn doodles of things like ninja stars and puppies filled the margins, surrounded by little hearts. 

"...thanks," Himiko said, reluctantly taking the notebook from her. She didn’t like having Tenko pick up after her. She flipped through a couple pages and sighed internally. She wasn't going to be able to copy it fast enough to be done before they had to leave. 

"Tenko?" Himiko asked.

"Hmm?" She  _ beamed.  _ Himiko shielded her eyes. 

"Can I borrow this for tonight and give it back tomorrow?" 

Tenko sat up taller. "Oh, of course, Himiko!" 

She tilted her head like a puppy.

"But, can't you take a picture with your phone?"

"...'m out of storage…" she mumbled. 

"Well then, have at it!" Tenko grinned. Himiko was gonna run out of words to describe her smile.

Weakly, she offered up a smile of her own.

\---

She and Tenko walked to the buses together before waving goodbye. Tenko always walked (or, more accurately, ran) home. Himiko watched her dart toward the crosswalk through the window, a little green and blue shape with her braids trailing behind her. She was holding her backpack over her head to protect herself from the drizzling rain. It was bright pink, with little mascot charms hanging off every zipper.

_ Cute.  _

Himiko swallowed. She looked at her hands, folded on top of the red backpack lying on her lap. 

Her mind was clouded by the chatter of the other students on the bus and the noise of engines and horns blaring through the parking lot. She knew some of the other people on the bus. If she tried, she could pick out Maki, Kaito, and Shuichi from a couple seats down, or Rantaro and Miu a couple seats up. 

She liked them well enough, but it was too much to deal with right now, at her current level of MP. It got a little better when they were driving down the road, and she could feel the movement and watch the world pass idly by. The other students were still too loud.

She tucked herself closer into the corner made by the wall and her seat, and pulled her knees up to hug her backpack. 

On a whim, she opened it and took out the bright green notebook she'd borrowed from Tenko. She focused on the feeling of paper under her fingers, and the hasty writing that filled each page. It was too much work to read, but she still took a moment to see how the words had clustered and fallen on the pages as she flipped them idly.

On one page nearer to the back, she found a drawing of herself. It wasn't perfect or even very good, just a round little figure slumped over a desk with her head lying on her arms, but the hair and pin were unmistakable, and above the cartoon Z's, Tenko had written  _ Himiko _ , with little hearts over the I's.

She traced the letters with her index finger, and felt a little better. 

Suddenly, she felt in itch in her nose.

\---

That was the first time it happened. She sneezed into her elbow, and found it covered in star-shaped confetti. She cringed.

_ What a pain…  _ she had no idea how it got there. More irritated than anything, she brushed the glitter off her arm and onto the dirty metal floor of the school bus.

She thought it was some weird fluke, like maybe she inhaled it while yawning, but it happened again. 

She was leaning over her desk, hand in her hair and mouth at a frustrated pout as she struggled to copy Tenko's notes to her own composition book. When she went to turn the page, she stopped. She could feel a sneeze coming on. Her eyes watered. 

"Ahhh…. Ahchooo!"

She almost hit her head on the desk from the momentum. She shook her head solidly like she was getting chalk dust out of an eraser, eyes squeezed tight. When she felt like she could see up from down again, she opened her eyes at went back to her work, only to find it covered in petals.

She squinted. They didn't make any more sense. She rubbed her eyes hard. Nothing changed. 

"That's not right…" she said. The flowers didn't respond.

In her bewilderment, it took a good five minutes before she thought to touch them. She picked them up, one by one, and scrutinized them. 

They were real flowers. They looked almost freshly cut. 

"... this," himiko said, staring the flower down, "is some magic shit." 

And not her usual trick-handcuffs, smoke-and-mirrors type magic. She’d need to research. 

She pushed her heels against the ground with enough force to send her rolling chair across the room so it and her (curled up tightly like a pillbug) crashed into the opposite wall, where she fell off her chair. 

She lay there for probably a good few minutes, breathing in dust bunnies and thinking about when the hardwood floor was installed. Eventually, and with extraordinary effort, she pulled herself up and began her investigation of the book shelf. 

She had a lot of books about magic, which is one way to say she had probably  _ all _ the books about magic, and plenty of movies, comics, and video games about the subject, too. It was something that fascinated her since she was little, a high she'd been looking for in the payoff you get from practicing sleight of hand until you get carpal tunnel. 

She had a general idea of what each book was about, so she could narrow her search pretty far. She chose a couple of books and collapsed onto her bed to continue research. 

The first book was a dictionary of sorts. She looked for 'sickness' under S and 'flowers' under F. Nothing. She tried A for allergies, C for confetti, and then, skimming the whole damn book for anything useful. At that point, she got annoyed and threw the book at the laundry pile gathered at the foot of her closet. 

The book about plants didn't help, and the book about rare and strange diseases of magical origin didn't have any answers, either. She decided she may have been thinking too general and turned to the internet. She fished her laptop out from the mess of covers and pillows at the bottom of her bed and opened the search engine. 

_ Sneezing confetti _

A youtube video of a puppy in a birthday hat.

_ Sneeze flowers homework _

No results. She clicked her tongue.

_ Sneezing flowers help _

That got something. The number one result was titled 'Why Am I Sneezing Flowers?'.

Himiko clicked the link, and was brought to a blog with a black background and colored text. She wrinkled her nose. The site was plastered in Halloween clipart and gaudy fonts. A cloud of sparkles followed the mouse wherever it went, which was ok, but in combination with everything else, it looked tacky. A profile on the left hand margin showed a picture of a boy with black and grey hair posing with his hand over his face, and a description declaring him "the master of sorcery, darkness, and all knowledge, bearer of truth, Gundam Tanaka".

Despite the weirdness, it was the first lead she'd had. She sighed deeply, rubbing a hand over her face, and kept going.

" _ You may well ask that, civilian. _

_ Heh!  _

_ What a curiosity it must be, for you to come here, where no man is guaranteed to return from… _

_ I have graciously sealed, upon this 'page', words of truth to quell your hunger!  _

_ Your eyes itch, you sneeze uncontrollably and at random intervals, am I correct? If you find yourself to be sneezing flowers, feathers, and all manner of things, as though you were ill, you are indeed  _ _ overtaken _ _ with the darkness of your mortal soul! The only way out is to embrace that wretched darkness that comes to cover all subconscious thoughts and feelings. Where you want least of all (and yet, most of all) to go, you must! _

_ Embrace that passion, dark visitor!! _

_ -The Great Gundham Tanaka." _

Himiko shut her laptop.

She felt exhausted to her bones. That was… ugh. Looks like she's out of luck after all. She needed a break. 

She glanced at her phone. Maybe someone she knew could help. She shoved her laptop away and curled up with her phone. The first name on the contact list was Tenko.

She sneezed.


	2. Bad ideas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shenanigans cont. briefly ft. angie, kirumi, tenko, and maybe atua?? It's unclear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! I'm a very slow writer, so I'm sorry that i only have this much to give you. I wanted to wait until I had a longer chapter, but I really didn't want to disappear off the face of the earth, so here's a little update! thank you for reading and I hope this makes you happy :D.

Himiko thought, for maybe the tenth time that week, that this was getting out of hand. 

Yesterday morning, she'd sneezed quail feathers while greeting her friends. In third period, she'd spaced out and suddenly started sneezing glitter.

Just now, she'd sneezed pink flowers onto her food.

She stared woefully at her unintentionally seasoned lunch, and sniffled.

"Himiko? Are you okay?" Tenko asked. Up until that moment, she had been excitedly showing off the octopus-shaped hotdogs in her homemade bento. 

While she gestured wildly at her lunch, Himiko had been thinking about how well-balanced her meal was. As an athlete, Tenko took her diet seriously. She said it made her "strong, and full of energy for the day!" Himiko always thought that sounded like a weird thing to say, but Tenko was full of weird things to say. 

Then, Himiko noticed Tenko's hands as they waved around. They were scarred from aikido and hard work, but the nails were manicured and neat, as a point of pride for her, she guessed. She tried to remember if she'd ever touched them, if they were soft or rough. They looked bigger than hers, like they could envelope her own easily in a warm, secure grasp. 

She felt her nose itch.

"It's nothing," Himiko grumbled, trying to discreetly brush the flowers into her backpack. 

She glanced at the clock. Lunch wasn't over yet, but she needed to go somewhere  _ alone _ to figure this out once and for all.

"I'm not hungry anymore," she said. She picked up her tray and stood up to dump it unceremoniously in the trash. 

"I'm gonna go."

"What? Where are you going? Should I come with you?" Tenko was tensed like she was ready to spring out of her seat. 

Himiko hesitated. "Nah, you should stay with everybody else," she said, avoiding Tenko's eyes.

She kinda felt guilty leaving Tenko behind, especially when Tenko gave her that 'kicked puppy' look.

"See you in sixth period," she said. She spun around and left, too tired to deal with other people any longer. 

Himiko was just glad Tenko had been too distracted to notice what had happened. Himiko had to jump through way too many hoops trying to keep her problem hidden. Jumping into broom closets and hiding her face all the time was draining her precious MP. 

She crossed through the hallways, silent as a ghost. She was good at slipping by, peeking around corners and sticking to shadows, keeping her expression blank. Finally, she found an unused classroom, and slipped in with a grateful sigh. She sat behind the first desk she saw and slung her backpack over the chair.

The room had blank white walls and an old-fashioned chalkboard up front. Most of the desks had graffiti scribbled on them in pencil, names, or flowers, or that one 's' symbol. Gum was plastered to the underside. An empty shelf leaned against the back wall.

It smelled like books, or an undisturbed museum.

Himiko considered tucking her head in her arms and forgetting what she had left to focus on. She didn't wanna think about this, this curse, she just wanted it to stop. If only she knew where to start. 

And that was the problem, wasn't it? She had no idea what she was doing, or what she needed to do to  _ stop  _ what was happening. She was completely, utterly lost. 

Her head spun with sigils and curses.

She dropped her head to the desk and groaned. 

-

Himiko woke up to the sound of the bell. dazed and confused.

Dust drifted idly in the rays of sunlight that crossed the room and lay heavy on her eyelids, unbearably bright. She looked at her phone. 12:45.

She groaned.

In the end, she'd fallen asleep, and made no progress on the issue. 

Like any responsible young woman, she flipped through her missed messages instead of getting up.

_ Angie _ : ✨ himiko! ✨

_ Angie _ : are u okay??? tenko says you ran off suddenly!!! 😮😤😰

_ Angie: _ i 😊👀 am praying 🙏🙌🙏🙌 (to atua) that you 😜😘 feel better soon 💓💖💖💞💕💞💟

_ Tenko:  _ [image sent] 

_ Tenko _ : Tell me if there's something I can do, ok?? I'm here for you!

Tenko had sent her a picture of an excited dog in a wizard hat, probably to make her feel better. Himiko could practically see her, curled around her phone, chewing her bottom lip with worry, trying not to send her too many messages at once but desperately wanting to check in on her. She could be so overbearing, but… 

_ Nice. And wonderful, and compassionate, and maybe a little overkill but always, always with her heart in the right place. _

Himiko's throat burned from a rising fire in her chest. She swallowed, forcing it back down, but not sedating it. Why was she so warm? Her stomach was queasy, and she could feel sweat dripping down her back. Why, why? She felt a sneeze coming on, and tried to stifle it, but it came out violently, sending glitter across the room. Her eyes itched as she stared ahead of her, every visible surface  _ coated  _ in gold glitter.

Himiko wanted to cry, or scream, or  _ both _ , but instead she settled for a low, angry gurgling noise. She slapped her cheeks until they were red and stinging, and she could remember how to breathe.

Himiko took a deep, solid breath, and checked her phone again. She did the math in her head and realized she'd have to run to make it on time to her next class, and she couldn't afford another 'tardy' on her transcript. 

She tripped over herself getting out of the chair, backpack heavy on her shoulders, and ran as fast as she could through the hallways.

A few stubborn teachers yelled at her as she passed for running in the halls, but she ignored them, hyperfocused on her destination. She slid on the tiles, screeching to a stop outside her chemistry class. She fumbled with the door for a moment, heart pounding hot in her ears. The final bell rang as she stepped across the threshold. She had gotten to class with only a second to spare.

Ms. Pekoyama hardly looked up from her desk. The class was full of noisy kids, buzzing like a beehive. Her glasses slipped down her nose while she continued on with her grading, nonplussed. "Good afternoon, Miss Yumeno," she said as she pushed them back into place. 

Himiko walked stiffly to her desk. She checked her appearance with her phone screen. Her face was as red as her hair, and her hair clips were out of place. She huffed quietly to herself and left them as they were. She couldn't be bothered with the little mp she had left. 

"Are you alright, Himiko?" Kirumi asked. 

"'s fine," she muttered, with some annoyance. She didn't know why Kirumi cared. It was a bother. She settled in to nap on the desk, feeling her eyelids droop. She accepted the darkness of sleep.

"...on your shirt."

Himiko sat up a little in her chair. 

"Huh..?"

Kirumi was pointing at something. One of her eyebrows quirked. Himiko didn't see what was funny.

"There's a rose petal on your shirt," she said.

"Is there?" Himiko squinted at her blouse, and picked off the petal. It must've been from those flowers earlier. She probably missed one when she'd been clearing them away. Her brows furrowed. If she wasn't careful, people were going to figure out something was wrong. What a pain. But, wait…

"...aren't roses red?"

Kirumi shook her head. "Roses come in almost all colors," she said, eyes sparkling. It was subtle, but she clearly knew a lot about the subject.

"That petal most likely came from a coral-colored rose," Kirumi continued.

"Hmm." Himiko didn't really care about what color it was, she just wanted it gone. She blew it off her hand as Kirumi talked.

"...which is usually used to represent romantic desire."

Himiko bolted upright. She watched the offending petal float, tracing a lazy spiral and ending harmlessly upon the classroom floor. 

"Himiko?"

Himiko eyes remained fixed to the petal. It didn't mean anything. It couldn't mean anything! She didn't _like _people. She didn't want to kiss or hold hands. She scoffed when her friends talked about boys, she shoved aside couples in the hallway, she _couldn't_ _possibly_ have feelings for someone. 

It didn't mean anything. There was another explanation for her curse, she was sure.

Kirumi looked like she was about to say something, but then the teacher stood up and rapped the papers against the desk so they were stacked evenly, and Kirumi snapped back to focus, ever diligent. Good. She'd better forget this ever happened. Maybe she'd cast a spell later if she had MP left to do it, to keep her nosy classmate out of it.

"I've finished grading the tests," Ms. Pekoyama said. Her sharp red eyes glinted.

The class collectively held its breath. 

"I'm impressed, given that any of you passed at all."

The class collectively groaned.

-

That night, Himiko drew out a timeline of her (horrible, dastardly) illness, determined to end it once and for all. She started with Wednesday, when she first suffered the symptoms on the bus, and ended nine days later, abruptly blank. She scoured her mind for each instance, when it occurred, what was happening at the time, and what it looked like. By the end, she was barely conscious, and her handwriting had become loose and unreadable. 

In the morning, she couldn't understand it at all. 

Morning might be generous, actually. It was noon on a Saturday.

She curled up at her desk, knees pulled up to her chest so she could rest her chin and arms on them. The paper in front of her and been ripped from her chemistry notebook. The notes on the timeline had probably made perfect sense to three A.M. Himiko, but noon-on-a-Saturday Himiko couldn't make heads or tails of it. Tuesday had a drawing of a bird on it that was circled and labeled "REGGIE FILS AIME" in bold lettering, like someone had written it with all their weight pushed into the pencil. The word notebook had been underlined four times, written above everything else. 

Well. There was no helping it.

It was time to break out the witchcraft.


	3. Teen idle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Himiko has a complicated saturday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and thank u for reading!!! It probably goes without saying how much I appreciate the comments I have gotten, and they are my main motivation. I really am writing this for y'all, so that i might be able to make u happy like so many other writers have made me. I love these characters and im not a fast writer but i hope the effort i put into this is evident!!!  
Make sure to stretch and drink some water, especially if youve been sitting/lying down for a while. If ur hungry u should stop to get a snakc, if applicable u should take ur meds, and if its late, u should go to bed.

When she had MP to spare, Himiko had a habit of going into the tiny witchcraft store that had grown into the crooks and crevices of her hometown and buying things she didn't understand. 

In there, it was dark, and smelled nice, and the fat woman at the counter with a cat draped around her neck, or the college student with dirt-caked jeans and thick glasses who raises moths, or the thin woman who gives away free candy with every purchase and wore all of her scarves at once, would say hello only when she came up to the counter herself.

She'd been so nervous, looking at the amulets and wands that filled the slanting building, but they understood, somehow, the fascinating world she found herself in. They talked with her about energy waves and chakras, spells and eco-friendly rituals with the kind of assurance that Himiko had never felt, and it all drew her into a fever dream. She always nodded with perfect understanding, but her big eyes and awed silence hinted at how utterly lost she was in comparison. It was nothing like the massive trick magic depot she got her usual supplies from, but they held a distinct, equal place in her life.

Now, she rustled through her drawers, retrieving all the weird candles, channels, and charms she could find. She kneeled before the pile of witchy-paraphernalia she had thrown onto the ground with reckless abandon and tried to understand. 

She was trying to “divine” something, right? White (or was it black?) candles were supposed to be good for that, she thought. She swallowed. She began setting out her candles in a circle with five points, then, to make the circle has effective as possible, she carefully placed all her dried plants and cool looking rocks around and in between them. She couldn’t remember what the purple flowers were, or the thin sticks covered in leaves, or the pink rock with white lines through it, but she was sure they couldn’t hurt. Finally, she placed her neglected tarot deck in the center, unblemished, if a little dusty.

With a lighter from the kitchen in hand, she swallowed, and lit each candle with a heavy sense of the gravity of her task. She waited for a second, watching the flames gently bob and sway, like little dancers. They smelled like lemongrass. Slowly, she reached for the cards, and shuffled them with the practiced hand of a magician. 

_ Maybe this won’t be too hard,  _ she thought. _ I have so many other decks, this can’t be much different.  _ She chewed on her bottom lip.

“W-hy is this happen-ing?” she croaked. She winced at how her voice sounded, dry and gravely. She swallowed and cleared her throat. 

“Why is this happening?” she asked again, voice a little smoother. “The, uh, sneezing stuff, I mean.” 

She pulled the top card out of the deck and flipped it face up. 

“The hermit...?” It didn’t sound familiar. She put it up close to her face and squinted at it. She turned around and reached for her phone to look it up, but as she opened the search engine, she heard a suspicious crackling from behind her. 

She turned back around only to see the whole array up in flames. She leapt up and jumped back, heart beating a mile a minute.  _ What to do, what to do?! _

The fire extinguisher. 

She was sure there was one in the linen closet. She sprinted out, tripping down two stairs at a time, and fumbled open the closet door. She couldn’t see it. She shoved aside piles of towels, sheets, etc. and a thick quilt, pushing through blindly until she felt cold metal. Her breath caught, and she grasped it firmly. When she tugged on it, it remained stuck. She hissed, and tugged again, pulling until it finally broke free. The sudden shift threw her backward, fire extinguisher tucked into her arms. She landed painfully on her butt, but she was in too much of a hurry to sit and whine. She used her shaky legs to push herself upright and ran back upstairs, bursting into her room like a tornado. In one bold move, she aimed the nozzle at the fire and activated it. 

The room filled with white.

When she could think clearly again, she could feel her chest rising and falling with each heavy breath, and focused on slowing her breath down. She inhaled until she couldn’t anymore, then held it, then exhaled through her mouth until she had nothing left. She closed her eyes and shook her head.  _ Focus. _

She opened her eyes, and saw her fluff-covered display. Her stomach dropped. She flung aside the fire extinguisher and collapsed beside it, hands shaking over the mess, trying to think of what to do. Carefully, she pulled it apart, investigating each piece and setting it aside, one by one. The candles were mostly fine. The plants were almost entirely reduced to ash. Some of the rocks had been blackened, but that was all. And the card deck… tears pricked at her eyes.

They were singed, some worse than others, but they were still whole and legible. All in all, the tarot deck hadn’t taken too much damage, except the hermit card. It had a hole burnt through the left hand corner. Maybe she could salvage it? 

She took a deep breath and sighed it out. Whatever. Whatever, it was fine. Nothing much had happened. All this had made her tired, anyway. What a pain. She opened a drawer and unceremoniously dumped the offending materials inside. Floppy candles, stray leaves, blackened rocks, away. She hesitated before putting the deck back in its box, though. She could feel her hands shake as she paused. She hated it, hated the feeling of something building in the back of her throat, hated something she couldn’t squash or hide. She hated, she hated- 

_ Failure. Hopeless. Scared, confused little- _

Mind made up, she shoved them in with a frustrated grunt, and swallowed down the unnamed feeling that had shaken her. She slammed shut the drawer, and scowled at it viciously. What a pain, what a pain, what a pain. It didn’t matter, she didn’t care. She fell with a thud onto her bed. An hour had passed. She still had a little MP left, so she wrapped herself up in a blanket and pulled her laptop in front of her. In a few moments, she had logged into her favorite mmorpg. Her shoulders untensed as she immersed herself in the world behind the screen.

-

_ "On your left!"  _

"Got it." 

Himiko’s mage darted around the screen as she handled the controller with practiced efficiency. The monitor was mad with color and sound, flashing and sparking with numbers, meters, and button prompts. It was becoming increasingly clear that the author has not once in her goddamn life played an MMO. Her avatar came to a startling halt as she was struck by debuff spell that temporarily locked her in place. Himiko grunted, eyes narrowed at the screen.  _ Tch. _

“I’m down,” she said. 

_ “I’ve got it,” _ a sleepy voice buzzed into her headset. She watched in disbelief as her teammate dispatched with the remaining monsters in a few swift moves. She could never get used to this player’s skill. 

She unscrewed the top of her orange soda in the meantime, listening to the fizz of the carbonation rising. The first sip was harsh and sugary, and she cringed. 

_ “Perimeter clear,”  _ the voice said. A yawn broke through at the end. 

She felt herself sink deeper into her bed when she heard it, but shook herself awake. She’d known them a while, and they were usually up to play with her if she needed backup or wanted a partner to take on dungeons with. Their voice tended to be dreamy, like they had barely just gotten out of bed- that is, when they weren’t laser-focused. She yawned into her arm. 

_ “..Izahnerael?” _

“Huh?” Someone had called her character name. It seemed she’d dazed off for a minute. She rubbed her eyes.

_ “Are you okay? You’ve been kinda off today, and I haven’t seen you in awhile…”  _

Himiko blushed. She wanted to brush them off, tell them she was just at low mp and that her hidden powers merely slumbered, or whatever, but. 

She wondered- if maybe…

“I-I dunno.” She hesitated. 

_ “We can wait here a minute if you need a break,”  _ they suggested, gently. Just a touch of reassurance. Himiko looked down at her hands.

“I dunno,” she repeated, “I guess I’ve just been having these really weird things happening to me lately, and-” she scrunched up her nose in aggravation. “It’s been really frustrating, I don’t get- and it all started when I was borrowing this stupid notebook from a friend and I-”

_ “A friend?” _

“Yeah, she-” Himiko froze.

Wait. 

Wait wait wait wait wait.

The notebook. The notebook from Tenko, and lunch with Tenko, and saying hi to Tenko, and-

They’re all connected, all of the times she’s been suddenly ill- they all started with Tenko somehow, some way…

This could only mean one thing.

“I’m allergic to Tenko!” Himiko shouted. Just saying her name made her sneeze a cloud of white petals, but she was too excited to mind. One of her arms swung into her soda, and knocked it over onto bed. Soda dribbled through the half-screwed on cap and onto the comforter.

_ “...What?” _

It made perfect sense. Something about Tenko had been cursed, or maybe she had been struck with a repelling charm? Either way, the solution was simple. She just had to…

Avoid Tenko. Possibly forever.

Himiko began to bite down her fingernails. 

That was ok. She could do that. Tenko was so much to deal with, anyway, and she can’t avoid her all the time, but she could just, cut back.

An uncomfortable feeling crawled down Himiko’s spine and settled in her stomach, like a cat that had been rubbed the wrong way. Despite the shivers, she ignored it. 

This was going to be a walk in the park. 


	4. Feelings are fatal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things never goes as well as Himiko wants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What year is it lmao  
I really wouldn't be writing this without the comments ive received  
thank you for coming by! This ones for you  
Warning for an anxiety attack and kinda gorey imagery. If you want to avoid it, skip the paragraph after "What next?"

Himiko had decided to avoid Tenko, and settle her problems that way.

Monday morning, Tenko was waiting for her in her usual spot. Himiko saw the flash of green and blue up ahead, and her mouth felt dry. She blended herself into the crowd, eyes trained on the ground to remove the risk of catching Tenko’s eye. She could feel her eyes itch as she shuffled forward, until Tenko disappeared behind a corner. She sighed with relief, and leaned against the white brick walls, staring at the cheap, chipping ceiling tiles.

_ Easy enough,  _ she thought, but her head felt heavy. 

It went on like that, with her head low, ducking into classrooms and walking a little too fast through the halls. At lunch, she braced herself as she left the line, clutching her black styrofoam tray. Tenko was sat up straight, searching the crowd vigilantly with wide, bright eyes. Himiko cringed to feel their glare. She hid herself in the shadow of a group of kids until she was forced to split from them and make a mad dash for the door to the outside cafeteria. 

She ate her sandwich on a lonely bench off to the side from the crowd. It was chilly outside, but easy enough to numb yourself to, by sitting very still and pretending you couldn’t feel it. Her phone buzzed a staccato beat on the table, and she slid it into her bag without looking. The bites turned bland and mushy in her mouth, but she managed to get through it, and the bell ushered them back inside with its distant, pealing tone. 

Kirumi looked at her with a strange glint when she came into class, but she ignored her. It had gone ok so far, but the last trial of the day was still coming.

In sixth period, Himiko stood in the doorway, apprehensive. Tenko was scribbling on her notebook and frowning. Even like that, she looked… 

Himiko’s nose felt stuffy suddenly, and her eyes itched uncomfortably. Looking around desperately, she spotted an unoccupied desk on the other side of the room between two students, and flopped down in it before Tenko could notice. She heard a gasp, and felt eyes burning into the back of her head, but stared resolutely forward.

Throughout the lecture, Himiko sweltered under the pressure of Tenko’s gaze. She felt like she was wrapped tightly in thorns, digging into her skin and compressing her lungs. It was too much, too much, like trying to sleep on a bed of nails. 

She felt every second crawl under her skin until the burning pause before the bell rang at the same moment her phone buzzed angrily in her bag. She packed up and melted into a crowd, dense enough to be out of reach of prying friends.

As soon as she was off the bus and had let herself in, she hit her bed, and fell asleep in her school clothes. 

Then she woke up, and did it again. 

-

  
  


She managed a week before Iruma decided to take matters into her own hands.

Somewhat literally.

“Wha- put me down!” she protested. 

“Too late, pipsqueak,” she crowed. She had come up behind her, hooked her arms beneath Himiko’s armpits and lifted as easily as if she was a kitten. She grinned, and puffed out her chest. “You’re coming with me!” 

Himiko groaned and fussed. She’d known Miu since middle school. They weren’t very close, and tended to get on eachothers’ nerves more often than not, but they’d been seeing each other more often since Miu started dating Angie. 

“Tenko’s been suuuuuuper depressing lately, so we’re taking you to lunch, whether you like it or not!” Miu said, restraining Himiko as she scrambled to escape.

Himiko choked at the mention of Tenko. The pause gave Miu just enough leverage to get a firm grip around Himiko’s waist. She crowed in victory again. 

Himiko watched sourly as her bus left.  _ What a pain.  _

“Fine,” she grumbled. “I’ll go, just put me down.”

They walked side by side to the local cafe, Miu rambling loudly about some project, laughing and ranting without much notice to Himiko’s bitter silence. She knew better than to try and escape. Despite how distracted Miu seemed, she was almost impossible to stop when she was truly set on a goal. Himiko resigned herself to dragging her feet, pulled along by an invisible string.

Miu opened the door, and the gentle cafe atmosphere washed over Himiko. It was warmer inside, and everything was painted in sepia. The smell of coffee grounds wafted through the building and settled inside her. 

A small crowd of people had settled on one of the bigger tables in the back. Angie, in a bright yellow rain coat, noticed them, and waved them over with a beaming grin. 

“Himiko! Miu!” she said, stretching the vowels out in her sing-song voice. “Over here!”

Miu grinned, and Himiko resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

Angie giggled as they came over. “You brought her! Thank you, Miu, I knew you could do it!”

Miu blushed bright red beside her, and pulled awkwardly at the spaghetti-strap on her bright pink tank top. “‘S nothing, y’know…”

Around the table, Tsumugi, Rantaro, Kaede, Gonta, and Tenko sat. They were chatting animatedly, except for Tenko. Himiko avoided her eyes, and scooted awkwardly into an empty chair. Angie turned away from Miu to flash her smile at Himiko.

“Do you want something to drink? Angie will treat you!” 

“That’s fine, I-” Himiko began to mumble.

“It’s fine, it’s fine! Angie will get you something!” she said, and her eyes were dangerously bright.

Himiko faltered, and mumbled her order, not quite meeting Angie’s eyes.

Angie soon returned with their drinks, and Himiko found herself relaxing as she sipped her comfortingly warm mocha. She didn’t speak much, but she began to smile while she watched her friends talk, contributing her own short responses. 

“-so you’re saying a ponytail automatically makes someone hotter?” Rantaro said. His voice had a calm, disbelieving edge to it.

“No!” Tsumugi seethed, slamming the table emphatically. “ I mean, yes, but-!!” 

“I think it’s the change,” Kaede interjected, gesturing with her fork, which had a piece of shortcake on the end. “Y’know?” She popped it into her mouth, leaving a little whipped cream on her cheek. “It’s, like, seeing someone from a different angle. It’s more interesting.”

“See?!”

“I don’t think I really get it,” Rantaro shrugged. Tsumugi threw up her hands. 

“Here, wait-” Tsumugi fumbled with her glasses, then jumped on Tenko, who squeaked. When she pulled away, Tenko was wearing her glasses. “What about now?”

Rantaro squinted at Tenko. “I’m not sure what you were hoping to accomplish there.”

Tsumugi growled. She suddenly turned her glare on Himiko. She smiled brightly. Himiko shrunk back from the predatory gleam in her eyes. “Himiko!”

“Hnn…” Himiko could feel herself sweat despite the cold.

“What do you think?” 

“Uhhhh, well,” Himiko forced herself to meet Tenko’s eyes underneath Tsumugi’s overbearing presence. 

Tenko didn’t look any different. Her face broke out in a grin when Himiko looked at her, delighted and relieved, like she thought there couldn’t be anything better then being seen by her. The ambient noise of the cafe seemed to fade. The glasses balanced on her nose made her look like she was playing dress-up as someone more serious, more intellectual. Instead, they just made her look more innocent, the rectangular frames enhancing the roundness of her bright eyes. The thick lines rested on her warm, freckled cheeks, with the little mole under her eye-

There was a rush of discomfort itching and crawling in her face.

Himiko stood up stiffly, jostling the table.

“I need to go.” She said.

Miu chirped angrily, standing right up as if to protest. 

“-To the bathroom,” Himiko amended. Miu sat back down, somewhat appeased. 

She rushed away, back tense as she avoided eye-contact with the suddenly quiet group behind her. 

“Himiko-”

She froze as if struck, and turned around tensely. 

“The bathroom’s the other way,” Kaede said. She pointed to the back of the cafe on the left-hand side. Her eyebrows were upturned in concern. She just barely missed locking eyes with Tenko, looking as confused and hurt as a kicked puppy. Himiko flushed and walked even faster.

-

She locked the door securely behind her. The bathroom was a white-tiled single stall with a lamp that buzzed and hissed when switched on. Himiko bent over the sink, staring into the mirror. She wrinkled her nose as she fought the sneeze, tears building from the pressure. Her face was bright red and stinging. She gripped the porcelain edges and choked down grainy air, pushing down, down, down what she knew was coming.

“Aaaa-chuu!”

She sneezed confetti with a noise like a party popper going off, an explosion of diamonds of colored paper, glitter, and shiny pieces of plastic.

“Chu! Chu! Chu!” 

Over and over, rocking on her heels with the force. When it finally came to an end, she collapsed on the floor, hands pressed on her wet, stinging face. It was like a molten pressure against the back of her eyes, her nose. The misery was enough to not feel the pain from hitting the ground. When, after some time, she opened her eyes, they were brimming with tears. She looked pitifully at the debris covering her clothes and surroundings. It was like the end of a circus show, glittering and colorful, covered in fallen dove feathers and flower petals. She sniffed the momentarily clear air before her nose stuffed up again. 

She came shakily to her legs and brushed off her clothes, but soon gave up. She went to turn on the tap and flush what evidence she could down the sink. Before she could, she noticed something stuck to the side of the bowl. It was a thin piece of plastic that reflected a rainbow when turned into the light. It was shaped like the front of a set of glasses. 

She made a noise in the back of her throat. Her blood was broiling. She switched the faucet on to full blast so hard the lever almost came off. The water rushed out, sweeping the confetti with it.

She watched the water swirl and plummet. The gurgle of the drain and the hiss of the torrent drowned everything else out. She scowled at the running water until her face softened. She rolled up her sleeves. Then, she splashed water into her face, and rubbed it raw, like she could rid herself of her allergies that way. 

When she felt as clean as she could get, she shut off the water. The blood pounding in her ears subsided, and the sounds of the cafe flooded back in like the tide returning.

What next?

If she went back, her allergies would get worse. She would have to explain herself to her friends, and maybe even the management if they found what she left behind. It felt like an iron blanket on her shoulders, flowing down like the water dripping from her dampened sleeves. She couldn’t deal with it, not with the stares, their faces contorted in confusion, worry, anger. In her mind’s eye, she saw the coffee shop spinning around her, the sweet smell of coffee now oppressive. Even the other patrons would stare at her, disgusted with this wreck of a girl. Tenko touches her arm, and she explodes, coughing and sneezing until she’s just a bloody mess on the floor. She can’t breathe, blood and water gurgling in her ruined throat. Miu flags down an employee, and they come over to mop up her remains and she can’t breath can’t breathe couldn’t breathe because her chest was tight and heaving-

Himiko searched desperately for a way out. She felt a clawed hand squeeze her neck impossibly tighter. There, a window. It didn’t have a screen. She felt air rush back in as the relief knocked her back to reality. With a kind of manic desperation, she tried to open it. She didn’t really have the strength for it, but after moments of straining against the frame, the window gave, sliding upward easily.

Himiko took a deep breath, then jumped. She gripped the sill, and with great effort, pulled herself up halfway through the window. She scrambled through it, and soared downward into a bush. Sticks crunched beneath her, tearing her skirt with their thorns.

She popped out with leaves stuck in her hair. 

From there, she walked home. She went the long way around, hoping Miu wouldn’t charge out of nowhere and beat her up for her disappearing act.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't moved in a while here's a reminder to get off your phone!! get some water, take your meds, go to sleep, etc. Make sure to stretch and take care of yourself consistently.  
Stay safe and be smart. Here's good luck for you and your family during these times.
> 
> Edit 5/6/20: I'm a pretty slow writer but I'm updating this soon! I feel like I'm getting in the homestretch but it might be an illusion lmao.  
It's an important goal of mine to finish this, because it's my first real multi-chapter (not counting.... a certain discontinued work...) So even if it takes a while rest assured I am working on it!


	5. Smokey eyes, that's your name, isn't it?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Himiko goes camping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *slams pots and pans together* LESBIANS !!!
> 
> I wrote like four thousand words yesterday.  
I wanted to have the whole camping trip be one long chapter but it was getting to be too much so. 
> 
> Hopefully the next update won't take too long!!

After that fiasco, Himiko knew she couldn't afford to play around. It was time to get serious. 

She turned her backpack over in her hands.

She had thoroughly cleaned it the night before. She took stock:

Medical masks, check. Allergy medicine, check. 

She scrutinized the last of the new items: a ward against detection in a tiny cloth bag. She had spent way too long researching and practicing for it to not work. She yawned until tears came to her eyes. It made her exhausted just thinking about it. 

She tucked it into the pouch on the front and got clumsily to her feet. 

She'd rather just stay home, but… it wasn't an option. She'd rather not do anything at all. She frowned, and kicked her backpack weakly. She'd rather stay in and play videogames, or just sleep for hours and hours, or call Tenko and-

She swallowed the thought. Her chest hurt, tight like a rubber band. Hastily, she scrubbed at her face until she couldn't think about stupid things anymore.  _ No, no, no,  _ she thought. 

_You don't care about other people._ _You don't even like… _her_, anyway. You just have to tolerate this stupid school until you graduate, and you can go become a real mage, and never ever see any of these painful people again. _

She sighed.  _ I need coffee. _

-

After a drink with as much sugar as it had coffee, she felt a little better, but still pulled through the day rather miserably. People kept staring at her for her medical mask, and dodging her in the hallways (not that she minded it that much, but she needed the cover to avoid attention). Her teachers kept bugging her to go to the nurse. 

For the most part, however, the plan worked. There was one close call when she saw Tenko in the hallway and was suddenly overwhelmed, but she rushed to the bathroom and managed to stifle it.

Tenko stopped trying to contact her by the end of the week.

-

“Wait, Yumeno.” 

Himiko cast a glance over her shoulder. Ms. Pekoyama was sitting behind her desk, hands folded neatly. Her ice-cold eyes pinned Himiko to the spot.

_ This can’t be good,  _ she thought. She tucked her mask underneath her chin.

“Y-yes?” she asked, breaking into a cold sweat.

Pekoyama waved her over. Himiko swallowed.

She pulled a nearby chair up to the other side of the desk and sat down. She looked at the clock over the door.  _ Only a couple minutes until next period. _

The teacher cleared her throat, causing Himiko to jolt in her seat.

Pekoyama noticed her apprehension, and waved her hand dismissively. “I’ll write you a pass. Anyway…” She typed something into her laptop, and turned it around to face Himiko. A  _ 66% _ glared back at her through the screen. 

“I’m sure you already know this, but it’s not looking good. There are only so many chances left in the year to raise your grade. Even if you study hard and pick up the pace, you probably won’t get more than a 70, if that.”

Himiko flustered under the pressure. Images of summer school and slogging through the same, unbearable material flashed across her eyes. 

“ _ But.” _

A flyer was thrust into her hands. Clumsily, she grasped it, and held it taut so she could read. It was a colorful advertisement for a camping trip for students.

“I’ll keep it short. There’s a field trip being held by the junior student council. Some teachers are offering their students extra credit if they go  _ and  _ write an essay on a related subject.” She tapped the desk in a steady rhythm. “The essay will be fairly easy. Nothing complex, and I’ll be lenient on grading. This,  _ coupled  _ with studying and making up past assignments will give you a good shot at a better grade.  _ Much  _ better.” 

Himiko stared at the flyer. Ms. Pekoyama flipped her laptop back around and began typing something, unbothered. “I already spoke about this, but Miss Tojo reminded me that you weren’t  _ present  _ at the time...” Himiko tried to ignore the harsh look that followed, “...and that you would likely want this opportunity.”

Ms. Pekoyama wrote something down with a flourish, and ripped it off a pad of sticky notes. She passed it over just as the bell rang, signifying the beginning of the next period. “Don’t miss this chance,” she said, in a way that made Himiko feel like she really didn’t want to find out what would happen if she did. 

-

That Friday, Himiko found herself on the bus to the campsite. It was loud, though fewer students were coming than she would have expected. She guessed most people didn't wanna give up their entire weekend for the little extra credit they would get. There were sixteen of them, in total. She recognized most of them as having connections to the junior student council, like a daisy chain pulled together by a tug on one flower. Kirumi, who had arrived early, nodded when she pointed at the seat next to her, and shuffled to the side so Himiko could have the window seat. She seemed to consider saying something, but looking at her closed-off posture and face mask, she kept a respectful silence. 

The sky was robin’s egg blue and almost clear. Although it was starting to warm up, the window was cold when Himiko pressed her cheek to it. The bus rattled into movement, and the scenery began to change. Everywhere there was foliage, it was a vibrant green, and flowers were beginning to bloom from pale buds. The world was stuck in that greyish moment before spring showed its true colors.

“Hey, smalltits! You cosplaying as Korekiyo or some shit?”

Her moment of peace was shattered. She tucked a little further into herself and tried to focus on the passing trees.

“ _ Miu!”  _ Kaede’s voice hissed from in front of her.

“Uh, I mean, it looks great, don’t get me wrong…” Miu had the decency to at least sound apologetic. She put her hood up.

“Just... forget it, Miu,” Kaede mumbled.

“Oh?” a new voice cropped up. “I forgot we have to bend over backwards to suit Miss grumpy-guts’ feewings, huh?” It was mocking, but a sour hurt leaked through. “Must be special if she can be such a  _ bitch-” _

“Kokichi! Jesus, can you guys cut it out?” 

There was a sudden hush, followed by murmuring in little waves around her. She pulled the strings of her hoodie tight and pointed herself away from the crowd so her vision blocked them out. 

Kokichi and Kaede were arguing quietly, muffled through the hoodie enough that she couldn’t hear them. 

A hazy sea of green and blue ran past as the bus again swelled with noise, nonchalant and happy. Himiko’s chest filled with relief as people stopped talking about her.

-

It was dark out by the time they arrived at the campsite. They unloaded the bus by flashlight, and followed the teacher chaperone as she  _ hmm- _ ed over the guidemap. There was something both comforting and scary about the dark, now that it had fallen completely.

Because of her small size, she wasn't asked to carry anything beyond her own backpack and flashlight. She was surrounded by voices and bodies hidden in shadow, but alone. It felt like it was just her and the moon, peeking between trees.

Lost in her own world up in the sky, Himiko forgot to look where she was walking, and tripped over a root. She yelped as she lost her footing, her stomach shifting uncomfortably. There was a familiar cry, and she was caught in a pair of arms. They felt solid but soft around her. Despite regaining her balance, her stomach dropped. If it was who she thought it was… reluctantly, she unscrewed her eyes, and felt relief wash over her. 

"Oh, Kaede. Thanks," she said awkwardly. Kaede didn't seem to mind. She smiled as she helped Himiko reassert herself. 

"No problem!" 

Kaede was warm, and bright, but not quite the same. She tried to ignore the way her heart sunk in disappointment.

She didn't see the blue and green girl just behind her, arms folded tightly like she was trying to stop them from reaching out, and she didn't see the worried look Kaede shot her.

The rest of the night was spent pitching tents and eating dry snacks before bed, as there wasn't enough time to get a fire going. 

By the time they were to sort out roommates, the chaperone looked exhausted. She pointed out clumps of students and sorted them haphazardly. Her eyes were glazed over like she was trying to do mental math but had failed pre-algebra. 

They split up four to a tent, so, two girls' tents and two boys', plus an extra tent for the chaperone. In one tent was Gonta, Kokichi, Rantaro, and Ryoma. In the next, Shuichi, Kaito, Kiibo, and Korekiyo. The first girls' tent had Kirumi, Tsumugi, Maki, and Kaede, leaving Angie, Miu, Himiko, and Tenko to share the last. 

Then, she announced bedtime, and disappeared into her tent, so there was no time to argue. 

"Does she know we're all gay?" Someone whispered. The group broke into hysterics. 

Kaede stifled a laugh behind her hand, as she tried and failed to get everyone into their respective tents. "C'mon, guys, we have a full day tomorrow!" She said. Someone started yelling about twinks, and they were electrified again.

It took considerable effort from the student body president to get everyone to finally calm down enough to listen, but she was up to the task, and at last, they settled down.

Still, the air thrummed with energy and excitement for the coming day. People held whispered conversations behind their hands as they shuffled around, carrying their luggage and setting up their 'rooms'. It was cold, but no one felt it. 

Himiko didn't manage to tap into that vein of excitement. She could feel it, and see it on everyone's faces, but in the same way you would if you were watching them through a sheet of mottled glass, turning everything and everyone into an impressionist painting. Most of all she felt tense. She felt it in her shoulders, like a strand of elastic pulled tight, or a knot that wouldn't unwind. 

It was something she'd gotten used to everytime she was around Tenko. It was the feeling of thinking  _ how am I going to manage this?  _ It built up in her lungs, and her heartbeat quickened like a cornered rabbit, blood rushing. 

It was cold, but she didn't feel it.

She glanced over her shoulder as she rushed to the tent that had been picked for her, scanning for Tenko in the crowd. She found her, with all her tent-mates clustered together next to the other girls' tent. Angie was saying something that made Tenko laugh, and her warm breath puffed up like a dragon blowing smoke. Her nose was red in the cold, and it was all Himiko let herself notice before she tore herself away. Good. She would be the first to set up her sleeping bag. She worked quickly, rolling out a small dark purple sleeping bag on the rightmost side, and leaning her backpack against the wall. 

After changing, she rolled her shoulders, but the tension stayed. It was all she could do to breathe in and out slowly to calm down her heart, the way Angie taught her to.  _ Inhale, exhale.  _

There was a shadow outside the tent, and it began to unzip the door. Hurriedly, she tucked herself into the sleeping bag, and flopped over on her side, eyes shut.

A draft signaled the entrance of her roommates. They were talking aimlessly, mostly Miu and Angie chattering back and forth. Then, they stopped. 

"Oh, she's asleep," a voice Himiko knew too well whispered. It was too warm, and infinitely more tender than she deserved after all this. She tried to numb the pang in her chest.  _ Block everything out. Don't think, just sleep. Please, just sleep,  _ she begged herself. 

There was a pause.

"Ah, ignore her, Tenko, Atua says it was a long bus ride, sooo…"

Miu picked up quickly. "Yeah, she's probably gonna sleep like a fuckin' log through the whole damn weekend. We could invite the whole class in here to trip acid and she wouldn't notice!" The sound of shuffling cards. "How about we play blackjack? I'm too hyped up to sleep!"

"Hm, hm! Atua says that's a great idea! What do you say, Tenko?"

Another pause. The sound of a sleeping bag being unzipped. "...nah, you guys go ahead. I'm probably just gonna go to sleep now."

"Well… if that's what you want… Blackjack's no fun with just two, so me an' Angie 'll head to sleep too, I guess."

Half an hour later, Angie and Miu had unzipped their sleeping bags into giant blankets, and sandwiched themselves in-between. Miu was sprawled out and snoring, with Angie tucked into her side like a cat, cozy and asleep. On either side of them, a girl stared at the tent wall, and did not sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *me, lovingly writing in kokichi* I hate this bitch.  
He is harder to write than I thought. He and Himiko are gonna have more interaction later (mostly to explain Why he reacted like that) but it's such a pain to get right, though its probably cause I'm so picky about his characterization. 
> 
> This! Is your! Reminder! To take your meds, stretch, gets some water, eat something, go to sleep, etc. If you've been in the same position for a while get up and stretch. If it's late you should probably go to sleep. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	6. Or at least that's what I call you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Camping trip cont.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sets off alarm labeled 'kokichi stans come get yall juice', releasing a pack of rabid wolves into my home*  
I know I said it would update """"soon"""" but it turns out """""soon""" means ten days later. Oops...?  
I hope you enjoy this chapter. I like writing, but also I hate writing, but also I like writing?????? so?????

Kaede got them all up at an unbearably early hour to go hiking, and she didn't even have the tact to look upset about it. Instead, she popped up like a daisy, bright and early among the crowd of exhausted students bemoaning the hour and glaring at food the other, more awake students prepared for them. 

"Himiko! Good morning! We're having eggs and sausage, would you like some?" Kiibo beamed at her from the fire pit. Himiko shivered._ Unnatural._

After breakfast, they headed to the hiking trail. The other students were more awake now, chattering and mixing together to catch up after the few hours they had been apart. Kaede had  _ suggested  _ that she take off her mask to enjoy the fresh air (hint hint), so she wore it tucked under her chin. Still, she walked at the back, uninterested in socializing. Korekiyo walked beside her.

He preferred to observe, taking in everything with cool, unwavering eyes. He watched the birds, the wind-blown leaves, and the other students with the same rapt attention. Given how observant he was, she was sure he knew something about why she kept her distance, or at least, respected it.

She came to appreciate the unexpecting silence between them. People were less likely to bother her if she seemed preoccupied.

At the end of the path, they found a creek. It was wide and full of life, sparkling in the sun that filtered between treetops. You could see straight through the water, to the smooth black and brown rocks that made up its bottom. 

"Ta-da!" Kaede presented it with a cheeky grin. The others ooh-ed and aww-ed. "I said it would be worth it!"

"Hell yeah!" Miu cheered, already rolling up her jeans.

"Wai-"

With a splash, several students charged at it simultaneously, shoving aside any warning Kaede might have shared. 

"Cold-!" Kaito hissed, water just above his ankles. 

"Last one in is a rotten egg!" Someone shouted. 

"C'mon, are we elementary schoolers?" Kaede asked, rolling her eyes even as she ran into the water to join them. She giggled as someone splashed her with water.

The space exploded with laughter and cheers as the group took to enjoying the creek to its fullest. It was a warm day, and the water was cold. Pondskaters darted across the surface, chased by whooping teenagers. Maki had been pulled into a water fight, and was winning with devastating accuracy. 

Himiko and Korekiyo stood at the edges, unsure. Someone waved Korekiyo over, and he made to leave.

"Korekiyo-".

He turned around. Himiko felt suddenly small under his impassive gaze. 

"Uh, thanks," she mumbled. 

He nodded, something knowing in his eyes.

Alone, Himiko sat on the bank. Part of her heart tugged in her chest, toward the water, toward the people. She wanted them to call out to her. She wanted them to light up as they watched her walk over. She wanted Tenko to-

It was a dangerous thought, so she watched the sky instead.

-

On the walk back, they were tired, but light-hearted, wringing out dripping clothes and shoving each other playfully. 

Korekiyo was engaged in conversation with Rantaro (something about the Carribean) so Himiko walked alone at the back. Her eyelids were getting heavy. Even though she hadn't done much, she felt like taking a nap. She imagined her sleeping bag fondly, warm and soft. 

Someone poked her, and she was snapped out of her revery. 

Kokichi Ouma had slowed down to walk beside her. When she jumped, his face curled into a cruel, cheshire cat smile. 

"Hey, Himiko!"

"Screw off," she mumbled, scowling.

"Aww, and here I was playing nice like our lovely student body president asked me to!" He said, pouting. 

She rolled her eyes, and he dropped the expression to frown at her. 

"Geez, you're rude. Kaede told me to apologize for earlier but I'm really not in the mood, now. At least I'm trying," he petered off, mumbling the last part to himself. 

"Why do you care, anyway? What does it have to do with you?"

His face went blank, an ice cold expression that made her shiver. 

"Are you really serious?" He furrowed his brows at her. "Do you have any idea-" he growled, and held the bridge of his nose like he had a headache oncoming. "You ditched! Your friends! Without telling anybody! Like, climbed out a window, ditched, and now you have the whole mask thing going on, and nobody knows why because you won't say anything!"

Himiko flinched. "It's… complicated, okay?"

He nodded aggressively. "Oh, sure, sure, really complicated- hey, who do you think Miu went to crying to when you left? Huh? Talking about Angie and Tenko- they're a goddamn mess, by the way, best friend in the whole world goes MIA, that's cool-"

Himiko looked deliberately away. Every word was like a slap in the face. 

"-do you know what I would give to have someone care about  _ me  _ like that? And it's all fucking wasted because you won't  _ talk  _ to anyone-" 

"Please…"

Kokichi stopped, face morphing from a mask of rage to carefully flat. He watched her small form, curled inward and staring at the ground, unmoving. Her hands were shaking. He sighed. 

"Fine, whatever, just get your act together. Really, I'm just tired of all these girls coming crying to me, like seriously," he flipped his hair with a deceptively light laugh, "I'm not interested." 

"..."

"Ugh. You're no fun," he said. Kokichi merged back with the main crowd, leaving Himiko to trudge on behind.

-

That night, they roasted hotdogs and smores for dinner. It’s the kind of thing Himiko had done maybe once or twice before with her parents, though the context had become hazy since. She remembered it being nice, but the fire was hot and uncomfortable up close. Her arm became tired from holding the stick, and her first hotdog caught on fire, and burned until it was inedible. The one she finally managed to roast properly was burnt on one side, and it tasted like mush in her mouth. She sat on the ground- far away from the fire- and curled up so her chin rested on her knees, paper plate discarded at her side. She was far enough away that she fell into mercifully cool shadow, and she could watch them all from afar. 

It did something funny to her chest to watch everyone enjoying themselves together, talking and playing and reminiscing on things she couldn’t remember. She never felt so detached as she did then, their faces shining in the firelight. She felt herself floating into oblivion, the space between them growing.

“Hey.”

Kaede was suddenly beside her, holding out a paper plate with smore on it. Himiko hadn’t had any yet, didn’t want to bother with the fire anymore. She scanned Kaede, but she didn’t seem to be preparing a trick of any kind. Slowly, she took the plate, and removed her mask to bite the smore. It was sweet.

Kaede sat down beside her, taking her lack of dismissal as an invitation for company. Himiko tried to work up the energy to be annoyed at her for it, but she couldn’t, just then. 

“How’s it going?”

Himiko made a noncommittal grunt. She pulled her mask back into place. Out of the corner of her eye, Kaede was watching the stars.

“I hope you enjoyed this a trip a little bit so far, at least. I worked really hard to make it happen, y’know?” She sighed, and it was quiet.

“...all of the people here… I care about them. The student council, my friends… If I could, I’d make it so no one ever had to frown again.”

It seemed kind of silly. Himiko didn’t say anything.

“That includes you, y’know.” Kaede turned her gaze on Himiko. She felt the back of her neck heat up in discomfort.

“If you ever need to-”

“It’s fine,” Himiko snapped.

Kaede simply nodded. 

No one said anything for a long time. Himiko felt herself start to sweat. Then, Kaede bounced up, taking Himiko’s stack of plates with her. She flashed a sparkling smile back at her. “Whatever you need, ok?”

Himiko grumbled incoherently and looked away. She couldn’t help looking back up as she heard Kaede walk to the group, back turned. It pulled at something in her chest, and she couldn’t decide if she felt better or worse.

Then, Miu flagged down Kaede, and began to talk to her, shooting unsubtle glances Himiko’s way. Kaede shook her head, and Miu chewed on her bottom lip in the worried way she did. Himiko suddenly felt very, very cold.  _ Definitely worse,  _ she thought, staring at her shoes.

-

Himiko stayed there long after the fire went out. Voices went down to a whisper. People fumbled in the dark to clean up and settle down for the night. After everyone else was in their tents, and she fended off the chaperone by saying she just wanted a minute, she stayed. 

There was a horrible pit in her stomach. She felt frozen, like she couldn’t get up if she tried, so she stayed.

The crunch of leaves underfoot alerted her to someone else’s presence. She looked up, and her heart missed a beat, loud and uneven in her chest. 

“Hi,” Tenko said.

Despite the coolness of the night, sweat dripped down Himiko’s neck.

She mumbled something vaguely greeting like as she looked away. 

“Are you gonna come to bed? You’ve been out here for a while, so…”

Himiko didn’t speak. The silence piled up between them like heavy fabric. With great effort, Himiko muffled a sneeze.

“...is it something I did?”

Himiko whipped back around. Tenko was tearing up, arms hugging herself.

“No!”

“Then why-” she sniffled. Her bright green eyes were overflowing already. Himiko couldn’t bear to meet them. “Why won’t you talk to me?!”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?! If I didn’t do anything, then I don’t understand-”

Himiko stumbled to her feet as Tenko came closer. She took a step back, still avoiding her eyes. Tenko looked at her as though she’d been struck. A deep pain showed itself on her face. Her eyebrows were tense and upturned.

“I thought we were friends,” she whispered, hands falling uselessly to her sides.

“We were,” Himiko said. Her nails dug into her arms as she squeezed them. “I can’t, though.”

“Did you get sick of me? I know I can be annoying-”

“No.” She craned her neck to avoid looking at her.

“Then  _ WHY-”  _ she cried, voice breaking.

“It’s complicated.” Her stomach was filled with red hot coals. Tenko groaned in frustration.

“I don’t care if it’s complicated! Why can’t you tell me what’s wrong?” 

The desperation was clear in her voice, and it pulled at Himiko. Just this once, she looked Tenko in the eye.

Her breath tore out of her like she’d been punched in the gut. So many feelings swirled in her forest green eyes it was dizzying. Her heart picked up so fast she felt like she might cough it up. Her eyes watered as she tried not to sneeze.

“ _ Please,”  _ Tenko said. “I- I-”

Something she couldn't bear to identify in Tenko's tone of voice frightened Himiko enough to send her into a blind panic. She reeled back, turned tail and ran into the forest, leaving Tenko sobbing behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha yeah
> 
> This time FOR REAL im gonna update soon. I just couldn't not end the chapter on the note. hahaha wait Please dont hurt me-
> 
> If you haven't moved in a while here's a reminder to get off your phone!! get some water, take your meds, go to sleep, etc. Stretch and take care of yourself because I love you ?


	7. Do you ache the way I ache

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Do you wanna tell me what's going on?"
> 
> Himiko buried her face in her knees and grunted. He was using his big brother voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posts two updates in the same week like a chad

On the side of their campsite closest to the bathrooms, there was a little spot where you could get okay wifi, for like, the woods. 

This is where Rantaro found Himiko. 

"There you are," he said, more to himself than her. 

She was sitting on the ground with her knees pulled up to her face, staring blankly at some spot in the distance.

He settled down beside her, legs crossed. 

"Whatcha looking at?"

"Nothing," she mumbled.

They sat together for a beat, staring at nothing. Two owls hooted nearby, as though they were talking. It was never quiet at night in the woods. 

"Do you wanna tell me what's going on?"

Himiko buried her face in her knees and grunted. He was using his big brother voice. She couldn't say no if she tried. 

They waited out another moment of silence. She couldn't avoid it, just prolong the moment before, but he wouldn't leave. He would wait until she told him to go. 

Himiko really didn't want him to go. She felt… wrong, all over, thrumming with shame and anxiety and grief that she pushed deep down but kept coming back up, like vomit.

She propped her chin up on her legs and asked him, "do you believe in magic?"

He thought his answer out. The crickets chirped.

"...what kind?"

She scrunched up her face. "In this case, like, curses."

"Probably. I've seen some weird things, so… sure."

Himiko hesitated. She focused on the nothing, far away, the trees and shrubs and sticks. 

"I'm allergic to Tenko," she blurted out.

"What, really?" He squinted. "Is that possible?"

"Apparently!" She threw out her arms in exasperation. 

"Since when?"

"Uh. I dunno, like, a few months ago?" She shook her head like a magic eight ball. "I dunno," she said, a little quieter, a little less sure. “Everytime I’m around her, I start sneezing, but, it’s like, weird. Like, petals, and shit…” she dropped off.

"So… you started avoiding her."

She nodded. She thought about Tenko, and her pretty face, and her strong arms, and her gentle eyes. Her nose was itching, and her throat felt swollen, but she couldn't stop, couldn't stop thinking about her sunshine smile and laughter and the way she sent her dog pictures when she thought something was wrong-

"It was like the sun went out," she said, choking as though the words were painful to say. Big, fat tears rolled down her face and dripped off her chin. 

"It's cold." She sneezed feathers, which tickled her nose and felt like crawling, hairy insects in her throat. The world washed out in hazy unfocus.

"And lonely." She sneezed again, gulped and grunted, a little cry of pain. She rubbed her mouth and nose, smeared glitter and tears on her face. 

"And I miss her!" She croaked, throat swollen. She sobbed, sneezing between hiccups. The little 'poofs' of magic smoke and flowers caught in the air, then fluttered to the ground, or dissipated. 

And it hurt. The discomfort of illness was one thing, but she was angry. Angry at herself for being weak, angry at the curse for existing, angry at Tenko for being fucking perfect, at her friends for looking at her with confusion and pity, at their bread dough world that clung to her soft and sticky and impossible to run away from. 

And she was sad. 

Horribly, terribly sad, flooding her body from the top of her head to her toes so she was coughing up  _ sad _ , and it tasted like saltwater and it tasted like regret and it tasted like crying alone in the bathroom during the birthday where nobody came.

Rantaro rubbed her back, humming as he did like he would for his sisters. When the crying finally slowed, he cleared his throat.

"You can't live like this, Himiko," he said gently.

She hiccuped. 

"Do you have any idea how to fix it?"

She grunted. "If I  _ did  _ I wouldn't- wouldn't-"

She froze. Realization dawned. She rubbed her face once, twice, then pulled her phone out of her pocket. She was typing something urgently, blinking rapidly to clear her eyes. 

"...what is it?" Rantaro asked. 

"There was this, this fucking, blogger or something-" her back straightened suddenly, and she forced the phone into his hands. " _ See?" _

He furrowed his brow, staring at the entry Himiko had found what felt like ages ago. 

"What's this supposed to mean?" He squinted at it, putting it closer to his face. 

"I… don't know."

"I mean, he seems to know what he's talking about. Maybe you can contact him?" He handed the phone back. 

She hummed, scrolling through the page. "Ah!"

"What?"

"Here, it's got his contact information." She pulled a face. "Who puts the address for where they work on a website? Does he know anything about the internet?"

Rantaro hummed in agreement as he read over her shoulder. "That's not that far from my neighborhood. It might be our best shot to get a hold of him. Wanna check it out after the trip?"

"Ok," Himiko said, clutching the phone to her chest. "Ok."

They sat for a little bit longer as Himiko calmed down. 

Even after they’d been there in silence for several minutes, she didn’t make any move to leave. Just like earlier, she felt stuck, unable to budge from the spot. 

“...Himiko.” It was a warning tone. She nervously met his eyes. His expression was stern. 

“Y-yes?”

“Even if this has been hurting you…” He sighed, and scratched the back of his head. “You have a really big apology to make. To everybody, but  _ especially  _ to Tenko. You should have just told us what was happening.” 

“‘M sorry…”

“Yeah, well,” he looked off to the side. He sighed again. “I’ll ask Kaede if there’s room in her tent.”

Himiko nodded, relieved she wouldn’t have to room with Tenko after that disaster.

-

When they got back to camp, Himiko was shocked to find people up. They were spread out over the camp, looking tired but worried. Kaede was talking to the chaperone and Shuichi. Kokichi was standing beside him, looking generally pissed but breaking into a smile lightning-fast whenever Shuichi looked at him. Tsumugi, Maki, and Kirumi could be seen in the unzipped tent. On the other side, Tenko was sitting on a folding chair in front of her tent with her face in her hands. Miu and Angie were comforting her. Gonta and Kiibo were a little harder to find, hidden among trees and the edges of their camp. She tucked herself behind Rantaro to avoid attention. 

Rantaro cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled “I found her!”

They all looked at him, as if to confirm his claim for themselves. The tension in the air unfolded and expanded into relief. Most of the crowd shuffled back into their tents after a few quick exchanges. Angie and Miu seemed to have some difficulty persuading Tenko to go back in, but finally, she relented. Miu gestured something to Angie, then remained outside. 

Rantaro started walking towards the space between the two girls’ tents. It took Himiko a moment to realize she was supposed to follow him. She was quickly becoming hazy from exhaustion.

“Rantaro,” Kaede said, relief flooding her voice. She had stayed behind when the others went back to bed.

“Hey.”

“You got her?” Miu said, uncharacteristically quiet. It was obvious from the bags under her eyes that she had just woken up.

Himiko peeked out from behind Rantaro. The two girls glanced at her. Miu looked away once she had seen her. 

“Fine. You probably shouldn’t sleep in our tent tonight,” she said briskly.

Rantaro massaged the back of his neck. “Yeah, I was going to ask Kaede if it would be ok for Himiko to spend the night in her tent.”

Miu nodded sharply once, looked at Himiko, then turned and went into her tent. There was an uncomfortable pause as she loudly and slowly unzipped the door, entered, then zipped it back up, glaring at Himiko the entire time.

“Sure,” Kaede said. Her smile was tight at the corners. “You good with that?” she asked, leaning into Himiko’s line of sight.

Himiko nodded. She didn’t like how they were treating her like a little kid, but she wasn’t really up to argue at the moment.

The tent was crowded, but Himiko fell asleep fast.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rantaro has so much potential. Look at this lad. Probably the easiest for me to write, I love him. Support is stored in the avocado. 
> 
> Remember to take care of yourself. Please get up and stretch, at least. Everything is kind of funky right now but if we work together we will come out the other side. If you can, consider donating to help protect vulnerable people:  
https://www.feedingamerica.org/take-action/coronavirus  
https://wck.org/  
https://www.unitedway.org/recovery/covid19


	8. Unassimilated normie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Himiko and Gundam meet to discuss a cure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been. Ten years,,,,  
We're in the home stretch everybody! Maybe one more chapter? (plus epilogue :0) It feels weird how much blood and tears I put into this, compared to the actual length. Thank you so much to everyone who has commented and left kudos, I hope you like this chapter!
> 
> pspspsps. look at this right now with your eyes look at it ==>>> https://imgur.com/HEWBRIK  
it is beautiful  
ty Giveb for the art!!!

That Monday after class, Himiko found herself walking with Rantaro to the address they found on Gundam Tanaka's website, in the hope of getting answers. Himiko had almost hoped he would have forgotten, but he was waiting outside when she left her classroom. 

"I have a free period," he said, answering her unspoken question. 

"Hmmph," she said, still muffled by a face mask.

A tight ball of anxiety hardened in the pit of her stomach as they went. She kept her eyes fixed on the road ahead, but her head buzzed with worries.

_ What if he didn't work there anymore? What if he didn't want to talk to them? What if it was all some elaborate joke?  _

Even then, if all the pieces fell into place, she was scared of what he would say. 

She shook her head as if to shake away her thoughts. She couldn't be selfish anymore. She had to be brave. 

_ I hate being brave,  _ she thought, sweating in the still cool spring air.

-

'Where Gundam works' turned out to be a boba shop. Himiko thought the idea of drinking something with chunks in it was kind of strange, so she'd never tried it before. She looked around at her surroundings with tentative curiosity. 

Rantaro nudged her over to a table to sit, and went up to the front, where a blonde with her hair tied back with a sparkly bow was working. Himiko fussed with the end of her sleeve. Just thinking about strolling up there and asking a stranger a bunch of weird questions made her feel… guh.

A couple minutes later, he came back with a drink in either hand.

“She said he’s in the back. He’ll be out in a minute,” he said, taking a seat across from her. “You like milk tea, right?”

Himiko shrugged, and took the offered drink. It wasn’t bad. She could probably get used to it.

It worked as a distraction only briefly, however, before her anxiety returned, buzzing like a cloud of hornets. Her stomach tried to digest itself.  _ I want to go,  _ she thought.  _ Please let me go. _

“...Himiko?” Rantaro asked, sensing her discomfort.

Before she could respond, a figure appeared, as if from thin air.

"Ah hah, are these the lost souls that require my assistance?" His voice boomed. His hair was striped like a skunk, and he wore a variety of strange accessories over his uniform, including a purple scarf longer than him.

Himiko squinted. His name tag was hidden under his scarf, but she could make a guess. "...Gundam?" She asked.

He practically sparkled at hearing his name. "Indeed, my small compatriot! I am one whose name is feared across the globe, known even by the darkest devils in hell as a being of great power, one whose hand holds arcane secrets so blasphemous the very mention of them sends shockwaves shuddering through all masters of witchcraft-!"

Rantaro gawked open-mouthed. Himiko stared at him blankly. Her brain was making the noise old computers made when they started up. 

For a long time, it was dead silent. 

In desperation, her brain latched onto something familiar. She perked up suddenly. 

"Witchcraft…? So you're a magic user?" She asked. Gundam seemed to be surprised by the response, but quickly preened under the attention. 

"Of course! My power makes the righteous quake in fear!"

Himiko leaned forward. "That's so cool," she said. 

Gundam grinned haughtily. "Do you seek such arcane knowledge, as well?"

"Oh, well," Himiko blushed imperceptibly. "I'm something of a mage myself."

Gundam nodded like he already knew. "I sensed the makings of a witch within you. It is as clear as the night sky in your aura!"

"As clear as the night sky…?" Rantaro questioned.

"Wanna see?" Himiko said, already pulling a card deck from her backpack. 

Gundam chuckled. "Go ahead, but be warned-! Any challenge against me will not go unanswered!"

Himiko removed the cards and began shuffling. 

"Pick one," she said, holding the cards out so they fanned towards him. He did so.

"Don't tell me which one it is, but memorize it. You got it down?" Gundam nodded and she took it back into the deck without looking. She reshuffled quickly. Then, she split it in half, and set one half beside before shuffling the other. He kept his eyes glued to the deck, eyebrows knotted as if he could puzzle out any trick. A smile crept in the corner of her mouth.  _ Easy. _

She took the top five, then spread them out face-up. 

"Is it among these five?" 

Gundam's eyebrows shot up. "Yes," he said.

She shuffled the five cards, then took the top three. "Still there?"

He nodded honestly.

She shuffled them back into the set of five, then removed two, and put them face up. 

"What about now?"

Gundam shook his head. Her face fell, confused and worried. 

"Huh?" She looked at the cards like they betrayed her, holding them in front of her face. She squinted, then lit up. 

"Oh, I know where it went," she said, and with an easy smile, she leaned forward and pulled a card out from behind Gundam's ear. 

"Is this your card?" She asked. 

Gundam practically fell over himself as he scrambled backward. He was an open book of shock and amazement. Himiko puffed up in pride.

"How-!" He stuttered, face pink. He focused on Himiko as he managed to stand up straight. "I underestimated you, mage-! Who knew within your small form, you held such amazing power! Though I am, of course, stronger…" he mumbled, seeming to get ahold of himself. "I am glad you came here, so I might meet another skilled in the craft."

Even if he kept commenting on her height, having someone take her seriously was greatly appreciated. Wait until Tenko hears-

She pulled up her mask and squished her nose with the back of her hand to stifle the oncoming sneeze. 

Rantaro jumped on the opportunity to finally interrupt.

"Ah, about that," he said. "We actually came here because of a post on your blog. We thought you might know something about Himiko's, uh, ailment." He gestured towards the girl, who was quickly losing an internal.

"Achoo!" She made a sound like a kitten sneezing, and glitter seeped out of the edges of her mask. 

"I see," Gundam murmured sympathetically. "I had a similar affliction, once."

Himiko and Rantaro brightened. 

"You have?" Himiko asked.

"Yes. I thought myself cursed by some vicious force, and perhaps I was, but the cure was much different than I had supposed."

Rantaro looked serious. "What was it?"

"Tell me," Gundam said, much to Rantaro's chagrin, "what- or who- is the source of your peril?"

"Tenko. My friend Tenko," Himiko answered quickly.

Gundam nodded. "Good, you understand your situation quite well, then. What you must do now, is- well," he suddenly went red. "You must, uh."

He cleared his throat. The two stared at him in obvious anticipation. He scratched his cheek absently. 

"'Confront', them," he said.

"Confront?" Himiko echoed. 

Gundam seemed to regain his composure. "Yes! You must attack with all your might! Daughter of darkness, go forward and bare your soul!" He said, striking a dramatic pose. 

Himiko blanched. "I can't do that-!"

"You must!"

"B-but she didn't do anything wrong!"

"Eh? What does that have to do with anything?" He shook his head. "If you do not strike, you will never recover from your sickness!"

"Strike?" Himiko stood up from her chair. "I'm not going to hit Tenko! Even if I have to suffer forever, I won't do that," she said, flushing with conviction. 

Gundam flustered, seeming confused by the sudden sequence of events. "W-wait, I do not-" he began, waving his hands. 

"Screw this," Himiko said. She picked up her stuff and made to leave. "This whole thing was a waste of time," she huffed. 

"Just a moment-!"

The bell above the door jingled cheerfully as she slammed it shut.

-

Rantaro caught up to her shortly. He exhaled deeply, slowing from a sprint to match Himiko, who stomped down the sidewalk with a grim expression. 

“Geez, you can’t just run off like that, Himiko,” he said, flicking her forehead. She yelped and covered it with a hand. He used to change in momentum to maneuver himself in front of her, arms crossed authoritatively. “I had to do apologize to Gundam on your behalf. You’re lucky I’m not Kaede or something, she would have dragged your ass back there without a second thought.”

Himiko puffed up her cheeks in indignation. “You heard what he said! He was telling me to fight- her! What the hell kind of advice is that?” 

Rantaro didn’t drop his stern expression. 

She avoided eye contact, face a little pink. “Besides, he wasn’t any help at all,” she muttered.

Rantaro sighed, moving back beside her so they could continue walking. “He was kind of… vague, to say the least. Any ideas about what to do next?”

Himiko lowered her eyes to the ground. 

“Didn’t really think so.”

They walked in silence for a long time. Rantaro chewed his bottom lip, lost in thought.

“...Maybe he had a point?”

Himiko glared at him, mouth open to respond. He held up a hand placatingly, and she shut it.

“I mean, maybe you should just, talk to her. You need to sooner or later, and I vote sooner.”

Her face softened. “I dunno. I don’t think, hnnn!” She dragged her hands down her face. A thousand thoughts raced through her mind and tangled into a mess of static. She bit the inside of her cheek, mind tipping over into a blank slate.

“Stop dragging this out, Himiko,” he said, voice sympathetic. “You’re only going to make it worse.”

“Mmf.” She didn’t wanna agree with him, but she knew she should. She really, really, should.

Before they separated, Rantaro shoved her with his shoulder, pulling her from her thoughts. 

“Spring break is coming up. I suggest that you talk to her before it starts,” he said. His eyes said in no unclear terms that it was not a suggestion.

“Hnnng, fuck, ok, fine,” she said. She already felt exhausted. But she’d do it, if it fixed her.

And for Tenko. Her best friend. Who she missed so, so much.

She sneezed, scattering dove feathers on the ground. She sighed in frustration, and rubbed her nose.

For Tenko.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gundam is fantastic you just write whatever bs you want and its like. he'd probably say that. The more superflous the better.  
just throw as many fucking words as you want in there  
Himiko wears a mask in this fic b/c thats how i had it planned, but if you leave your house, please wear a mask, especially if you are protesting. It is safe and protects you + other people. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and take care of yourself! remember to stay hydrated, stretch, and sleep if its late.


	9. They're so pretty, it hurts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Himiko finally talks to Tenko.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;) ;) ;)

Tenko fell in love with Himiko as soon as she saw her. That wasn't uncommon- Tenko got crushes easily. She fell in love with anyone from her closest friends to the girl that handed her her popcorn at the movie theatre.

With Himiko, though, it was stronger than the rest. It changed and grew as they got to know each other. 

At first, she just thought she was cute- adorable, even- but the more she learned about her, the more she understood, the more her feelings adapted. 

She wasn't just cute. She hated school, but worked tirelessly at magic- so dedicated to her illusion she fervently denied they were tricks. She disliked adults and kept her peers at arms' length, but she  _ sparkled _ around children, who believed and respected her, as she did them. 

She was picky, and grumpy, and sometimes mean, but there was a whole other person in there, if you cared to look. 

Every time Tenko got her to smile, it stoked the fire in her heart. She wanted that person to shine, the one who cared and felt and smiled. She wanted it so bad she would dedicate her life to it, if Himiko wanted. 

Some people didn't really get why she bothered with 'a lost cause', but Tenko had been a lost cause before. It was something she wanted to do. Understanding Himiko was its own reward. 

So she was fine. She was fine, even though Himiko gave her butterflies, and made her heart beat out of her chest, and made her  _ want  _ so hard she couldn't sleep, she didn't mind it being a lost cause. 

She didn't mind. 

And then Himiko disappeared.

One day she was right by her side, and the next, she was… somewhere else. Ignoring her, not showing up to lunch. Angie, Kaede, Miu- all her friends tried to protect her, distract her.

_ “I’m sure she’s just busy.”  _ Busy? Doing what? And why wouldn’t she tell her what she’s up to, or talk to her, or even _ look _ at her?

_ “Forget that pipsqueak, come catch a movie with us!”  _ Tenko could be oblivious sometimes, but after the third, fifth, fifteenth time third-wheeling, she could tell she wasn’t really wanted. They’d have more fun without her. 

Instead, Tenko watched the world go gray as she was suddenly, inexplicably, cut away. 

She felt stupid, so stupid, for not realizing it might happen, but she felt stupider for still hoping, deep down, that any minute now, Himiko would turn around, 

And smile. 

...

Tenko really was hopeless, wasn't she?

-

All throughout the week, Himiko could feel the deadline breathing down her neck. The clock ticked endlessly, each sound making her flinch as she was pushed through the week. It was always the wrong place, not enough time, too many people, etc., etc.- whatever excuse she could come up with that saved her just another moment before doom. Even the thought of the inevitable confrontation made her shiver.

She knew she would have to face the music eventually, but she was nothing if not a skilled procrastinator.

Friday night it hit her, and she lay awake in bed, staring at the ceiling in a cold sweat. Her mind was racing, her heart pounding and aching at the same time. 

After what seemed like an eternity stewing in her own anxiety, Himiko bolted upright and threw off the sheets. She paced her room angrily.

Eventually she burned off most of the frustration, and flopped back down on her bed. Her legs hung loosely off the side.

Sick of tracing cracks in the ceiling, she turned her head, when her eyes fell upon her phone, sitting on her bedside table. 

Her throat itched. 

She ignored it and slowly, gingerly picked up her phone. It turned on with a click. The blue light stung her eyes. 

She slid off the bed and sat cross-legged beside it, using it as a backrest. Her thumb hovered over Tenko's contact. After a moment of staring, she opened it with rare resolve. 

The recent messages were all from Tenko. She'd been ignoring them, but before the camping trip, Tenko had sent multiple messages in varying levels of subtlety trying to reach out. 

She sneezed into her elbow, made a frustrated noise in her throat, and typed out a message. She needed to get this over with. 

Himiko: could u meet me 2morrow. At the park

She hit send before she could let herself hesitate.  _ There,  _ she thought, sniffling and rubbing her nose. Her hand came away covered in glitter, and she made an annoyed grunt. 

Suddenly, her phone lit up.

Tenko: yes!!!!!!!! when?!!!!

Her heart squeezed.  _ Why is she up so late?  _ She thought fondly. The fondness soon evaporated as she was forced to stifle another sneeze, which persisted into a puff of feathers. She swallowed her feelings and fired off a text before falling solidly into bed. That was enough of that. She'd deal with it tomorrow.

For now, however, she tried to think about magic routines where girls turned into doves, and flew away.

-

The day started cool, but it warmed up as she made her way to the park. Any earlier in the season, and the cold would have eaten at her, but now, it was fairly pleasant weather. The dew wasn't frozen any longer, though it still made her shoes wet when she walked across the grass. The sky was pale blue.

The act of walking was a momentary distraction- get from A to B, don't worry about anything else- but when she finally arrived at the park, she saw Tenko already there, and the big ball of emotions rolling around in her gut expanded.

That morning, Himiko had spent much longer than usual fidgeting with her hair and clothes. She had to stop herself before she ran behind. The only thing she needed to make sure of, really, was that she had her mask, so she ruffled her hair and threw on some clothes and thought  _ fine, whatever. _

Seeing Tenko made her self-conscious all over again. 

Tenko was still looking at her phone, biting her thumb anxiously. She was wearing a grass-green dress with a floral pattern, and a cream colored cardigan over top. As she came closer, she noticed a necklace with a heart-shaped pendant around her neck. 

She looked so, so- 

Himiko tried in vain to stifle a sneeze.

Tenko became alert, looking around for the source of the noise.

Panicked, Himiko brushed the evidence (strips of paper confetti) off her clothes and stamped on it before Tenko saw her, then crossed the remaining distance. She kept a few feet between them for safety.

"Hey," she said. 

Tenko lit up, and she felt like she might faint. She swallowed thickly, face itching.

"Hi," Tenko said. 

There was a long pause. Neither looked at the other's face.

"So," Himiko said, breaking the silence. Tenko looked at her expectantly, but as soon as she started, her skin began to crawl.  _ Shit, what should she say next? What do you even say in this situation?  _ She opened her mouth but nothing came out.  _ Shit, Tenko was looking right at her. Shit shit shit. Say something. _

_ _ "...let's get lunch."

Tenko looked a little confused, but still agreed.

Himiko coughed.  _ Crisis averted.  _ Now she had a little more time to think, at the expense of having to somehow not cause a scene while being around someone that made her physically ill.

Tenko was happy enough to pick somewhere to eat without much input from Himiko. It was a small diner with checkerboard-tile walls. It smelled delicious inside, even with how congested her nose was. 

They ordered their beverages, and Himiko began her trial of trying to figure out how to drink with a mask on. She'd decided to slip the straw underneath the mask, and was making her attempt when Tenko spoke. 

"Look at this!" She gushed. She was holding the menu up and pointing at a stack of pancakes on the kids' menu (which Himiko hadn't asked for, thanks). It had a face drawn on it with strawberries and whipped cream. Tenko beamed, and waved it back and forth. "It's cute, right?"

It was. It was really fucking cute, and also Tenko was so close,  _ and also Tenko was so close???  _ Wait, was she wearing lip gloss? Christ. 

Himiko bit the inside of her cheek hard.  _ Don't sneeze _ , she thought.  _ Whatever you do, don't sneeze. _

She suddenly realized she'd been so preoccupied with her new found crisis that she hadn't answered. She swallowed.

"Yeah," Himiko said, voice rough. 

Thankfully, Tenko was satisfied with that, and continued to peruse the menu.

It continued on like that. Himiko struggled to act normal, suppressing any sign of allergies, while Tenko held a mostly one-sided conversation.

  
  


She'd gotten through almost the entire meal when she reached her limit. Her eyes were watering so hard they were on the verge of running over, and her whole body was so tense it hurt.

Their plates were empty except a few traces of food- pools of ketchup, salt scattered across the plate, tiny, burnt fries, etc. Tenko fidgeted with the edge of her cardigan. Her eyes were cast downward, and she seemed to be struggling to speak. 

"Hey, Himiko-"

"I need to use the bathroom," Himiko blurted. 

Tenko panicked. "Wait, don't-"

"I'll be back," she said. "I promise," she added stiffly. 

Conflicting emotions fought in Tenko's face, but finally, acceptance won, and she sighed. 

"Fine," she muttered. 

Himiko bolted for the restroom.

The restroom at the diner was a lot bigger than the one at the café. It was polished white, with a couple of stalls, and a massive mirror above a row of sinks. For better or for worse, it didn't have a window. 

Himiko hunched over one of the sinks and exhaled, shoulders softening. The person in the mirror looked miserable, and her face was pink from strain. She grabbed a couple paper towels from the dispenser and stood over the trash can as she sneezed. 

It took a while to get it out of her system. The sneezing seemed non-stop. By the end, her nose and mouth had been rubbed red to match her hair. She made a disgusted grunt, shook off the colorful debris, and stomped over to the sink, where she splashed her face a couple times with water. 

_ Get it together,  _ she thought. She rubbed her eyes and groaned. 

-

Mask replaced, Himiko left the bathroom.

"Hey," she said. 

Tenko jumped in her seat and whipped around, immediately shrugging her shoulders in relief when she saw Himiko. 

A pang of guilt tore through her heart. 

"I'll get the check," she said, taking out her wallet before she was even all the way in the booth. She slapped her money on the table, ignoring Tenko's cries of dismay. 

The waitress swiftly moved over and took the check. "I'll get you your change," she said, sweet as honey. Himiko nodded her thanks.

"It's fine, right?" Himiko said flatly, smug in the reassurance that Tenko no longer had any room to argue, but still too uncomfortable to show it.

"Hmph," Tenko pouted.

-

Any levity from their exchange evaporated by the time they left the diner properly. They walked back to the park in painful silence. Himiko's nails dug into her palm, her fists clenched tight to distract her from how close she was to Tenko.

They stood side by side in the park for a whole minute without doing anything. 

It was Tenko who cleared her throat and broke the silence. "I guess I'll see you later, huh?" She said, tentative. Her expression was raw. Even a delicate smile couldn't hide the way she'd given in. 

Himiko found herself wanting so badly to say something, but a lump the size of a tennis ball had formed in her throat. She tried to make some sort of affirmative sound, but found herself unable to speak, and nodded instead. There were clouds in front of the sun, but Himiko could do nothing to chase them away. 

Himiko watched as Tenko turned and walked away. 

Oh no, she was going to leave. 

Oh no, she was going to  _ leave _ . A horrible feeling of dread washed over her as she had the sudden, inexplicable thought that if she didn't stop Tenko now, then what she'd done to their friendship would never heal. 

It was irrational. Just some dumb, gut feeling based in guilt and paranoia that sunk her stomach like it was made of led. 

But Himiko had tried ignoring her feelings.

And just this once-

Himiko ran, sprinting towards the quickly disappearing figure across the park.

_ Why is she so fast? _ She thought breathlessly. She tore through the grass, stumbling as she went but still going.

"Tenko!" She wheezed, coming to a stop before her. "Tenko…" she bent over.  _ Damn Tenko's long-ass legs.  _ She pulled off her mask in the vain hope it would help her breathe.

"Himiko?" Tenko asked, flabbergasted. Something seemed to click. "Do you want to split the bill after all?"

"What?" She sputtered. " _ What?  _ No."

Himiko finally,  _ finally _ looked her in the eye. Tenko's mouth snapped shut. A blush rose to her cheeks. It became too much for Himiko all of a sudden, and she looked away again. 

"I'm…" Himiko muttered, suddenly shy, "I- ahhhhh-!"

She stifled the sneeze with the elbow of her sweater, but the feeling returned. She swallowed, and held her nose, but it grew and grew until it exploded.

"Ahhhhh- chuu!"

A firework-burst of glitter hung in the air for a moment. The force of the sneeze bowled her over. She ended up on the ground, her palms stinging from their attempt to catch her fall and the back of her pants almost definitely stained with grass and dirt.

"Himiko!" Tenko cried. She bent down and held out her hands to help. "Are you okay?"

Himiko stared up at her. Tenko's expression was full of earnest, genuine worry. 

Tears pricked to her eyes. Yes, the discomfort was unbearable up close, but she was crying because Tenko was so, so nice. All Himiko could think about was how much she had missed her. 

"I'm sorry!" She sobbed. 

Tenko looked panic-stricken. "Eh?"

"I'm sorry, sorry, sorry," she rubbed at her face. Her effort to wipe away her tears only irritated her eyes. She sneezed into her elbow again, and flower petals cascaded to the ground. 

"I shouldn't have ignored you, or lied to you, or ran away- gh." She was interrupted by another sneeze. "It was just too much to handle-"

"Himiko, you're not making any sense!" Tenko said. Tears beaded in her eyes.

"I got a curse, or something, I never really figured it out, and there was this guy and he told me I had to fight you, but Rantaro said I should talk to you and he was gonna kill me if I didn't do it before spring break, but," she sneezed dove feathers. "Agh, fuck, the important thing is that I can't be around you without having an allergic reaction, and it sucks because, well because allergies are a massive pain, but also because I was avoiding you but it's been hell! It's been hell without you because you're my best friend and you're like the sun itself and you're really cute actually wait don't worry about that part but anyway," she heaved a massive sigh to close off her rant, having run out of steam, then inhaled again before asking, "Did you get all of that?"

"You talked too fast," Tenko confessed.

"Fuck," she exclaimed. She straightened her back properly to look Tenko in the eye. 

"I love you!"

There was a  _ poof _ sound, and all around them in about a five foot radius, a huge, colorful flower bed sprung to life, like spring incarnate.

"Eh?" Tenko asked. She went bright crimson. "Ehhhhhhh?"

The feeling of relief was immediate, like an enormous weight had slid off Himiko's shoulders. Her allergies cleared up, as well, and she could see and smell and feel normal once again. Himiko's whole body shuddered with a sob, and she began to cry harder than she had in a long time. 

"Himiko!" Tenko cried. She scooped her up in her arms and held her tightly. Tenko was so warm and comfortable, Himiko cried harder. "Why are you crying? It's okay! Actually, I don't really understand but it's okay, I love you too, don't be sad!"

"I'm not sad," she sobbed. "I just feel so much better now. I love you, y'know?" She buried her head in Tenko's shoulder and squeezed her back as hard as she could. "I love you so much. You're so nice and pretty and you take care of people better than I ever can and you're so strong and you work so hard…" she mumbled on and on.

"You're gonna make me cry, stop it!" Tenko said wobbily. She pulled them apart, Himiko releasing her reluctantly, and revealed that she was already crying as well. "You're good, too. You're my favorite."

"Why are you crying?" Himiko asked, almost laughing at how ridiculous it was.

"Don't make fun of me!" She whined, wiping her eyes. "I cry when you cry. I can't help it." She began rifling through her purse. "I have some tissues, it's fine."

Himiko smiled, feeling high on catharsis. "Of course you have tissues."

"Stop it," Tenko responded without any fight. "Just take the tissues, you jerk." She pulled out the prophesied tissues and used one to dab at Himiko's face. 

"Clean yourself up first," she grumbled, though she didn't really mean it. 

Tenko crumpled up the tissue and shoved it in her purse before getting a fresh one and wiping her eyes. "There," she said, crumpling up the new one and putting her tissues away. Suddenly, she looked embarrassed, and avoided Himiko's eyes. 

"Is- is the curse, thing, gone?" She asked, fiddling with her fingers. 

Himiko took a deep breath and sighed it out. "Yeah, I think so," she said. 

"Then, hm." She cleared her throat and looked away, blushing. "Can I kiss you?"

Himiko felt herself short-circuit. Her face was so warm it felt like steam might come out of her ears.  _ Huh? What, huh? _

"Yeah," she said before she could fully comprehend it. 

Tenko's eyes glittered, and she bounced on her feet giddily, a big smile breaking out across her face. "Okay," she said breathlessly.

Tenko leaned down. She closed her eyes, and then the distance between them.

It was really just a peck on the lips, but it sent a whole migration of butterflies rushing through her. Tenko's lips were soft and they left a sticky imprint of lipgloss. 

Himiko felt like she might faint.

She wrapped her arms around Tenko and hid her face against her chest, making an  _ oof  _ sound.

Tenko laughed delightedly and lifted her up as easily as if she was a kitten. She spun them around and around in circles giggling, while Himiko yelped and wrapped her legs around her waist and arms around her shoulders. 

"You're so cuuuuuute," Tenko whined. 

"Put me down!" She yelped.

"No, this is punishment for avoiding me," she said. Despite her claim, she placed Himiko lightly on the ground. Then, with a determined expression, she grabbed her hands. "Promise me you won't run off again?"

"...Promise," Himiko said, squeezing her hands. She couldn't possibly say no to her puppy eyes, and besides she didn't wanna do that ever again. Now that she had a moment to breathe, though, she was feeling exhausted. She yawned. "Can I ride on your shoulders on the way home?"

Tenko smiled, and fired off a quick salute. "You can count on me, Himiko!"

Himiko smiled back. "Thanks," she drawled.

-

The walk home was peaceful, the silence content and comfortable in contrast to the walk from the diner. Himiko dozed on Tenko's shoulders, while Tenko hummed to herself.

"...you know," she said, briefly interrupting her reverie, "Miu said she was 'gonna beat your ass' if you broke my heart today."

Himiko chuckled into her shoulder. "Sounds right," she muttered. 

There was another beat of silence.

"...Thanks," Himiko said. "Y'know, for everything." A little quieter, she added, "'love you."

"I love you too!" Tenko responded.

"Agh." Himiko's face burned. "You're gonna kill me."

Tenko laughed.

The rest of the walk took place in gentle quiet, with Tenko humming along to each step.

-

Somewhere on the internet, underneath an incomprehensible post on a heinously gaudy blog, there was a single comment in an otherwise baren comment section.

_ BewitchingMage: he means you have to confront whatever feelings are associated with the allergies. did it and now I have a girlfriend, ez gg _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haHA BITCH I finally did it!!!!! 
> 
> I scrapped the first draft of this chapter halfway through (Himiko just kind of, ran into Tenko??) And I like this one so much better. I feel pretty good about marking this fic as complete now. Oh man that was a ride. Cheers for the longest thing I've ever written AND completed, and my first proper multi chapter fic.
> 
> Please tell me any comments, questions, or critiques you have. If you have any ideas for oneshots etc in the same universe go ahead and tell me that too! Thank you sooo much for reading but especially thank you for the people who commented. Without your comments I would never have finished this, seriously. 
> 
> I'm gonna go scream ahhhhhhh!!!
> 
> (Reminder to take your meds, drink water/eat something if you haven't in the past five hours, and go to sleep if you are up at an unreasonable time. Also wear your mask.)
> 
> PS. Tenko: I am so pissed at Himiko. I'm gonna give her a piece of my mind next time I see her  
Himiko: hey  
Tenko: actually nevermind I love you, Miu what do I wear for a date


End file.
